100 Questions to Ask Before You Get Married

100 Questions to Ask Before You Get Married

+Ask About Love and Marriage

  1. What do you picture our lives to look like in ten years?
  2. What would you do if we fell out of love?
  3. Would you feel comfortable going to marriage counseling?
  4. In what ways do you think our lives will change once we are married?
  5. How important is sex in marriage?
  6. What are your sexual expectations?
  7. What are your views on porn?
  8. What is your biggest fear about being married?
  9. What do you think is the best thing about marriage? The worst thing?
  10. What do wedding rings mean to you?
  11. If there was one thing you could change about me, what would it be?
  12. What do you love about me?
  13. Do you have any doubts about our relationship?
  14. How do you expect our anniversary to be acknowledged?
  15. What is the best way for us to keep our love alive?
  16. What are your views on prenups?
  17. What are your views about divorce?
  18. What was/is your parents relationship like?
  19. How will our past relationships effect our marriage?
  20. Do you believe that “love is all you need’?

Ask About Children

  1. How many kids do you want?
  2. When do you see us having kids?
  3. How far apart do we want their ages?
  4. If we get pregnant, how long will we wait to announce it to family and friends? Is there anyone that is an exception to waiting to tell?
  5. Will one of us stop working to take care of our kids?
    • If yes, who?
    • If no, what kind of childcare do we want?
  6. Would we want to home school our kids?
  7. Is private school something we want to pursue? Would we be able to afford it?
  8. How do you feel about paying for our kids college education?
  9. Will we give our kids an allowance? Do they have to earn it?
  10. If we discover we can’t get pregnant on our own would we be open to medical treatment? surrogacy? adoption?
  11. Would we be interested in being foster parents?
  12. How do we want to handle discipline? For example, one of our kids is bullying at school or is failing classes? What would we do?
  13. What do you think it means to be a good parent?
  14. Are the roles of a mom and dad different? If so, what are they?
  15. Is there anything that worries you about having kids?

Ask About Religion and Personal Values

  1. What are our religious beliefs?
  2. If they are different, how can we realistically handle these differences?
  3. What role do we want these beliefs to play in our lives?
  4. What religious holidays will we celebrate?
  5. What are your views on birth control?
  6. What is more important – financial stability or family relationships?
  7. What are you religious beliefs about marriage?
  8. What do you think about infidelity?
  9. Do you believe an emotional affair is a real thing?
  10. How would you handle it if someone was talking badly about me?

Ask About Money

  1. What kind of career do you envision yourself having and what have you done to get there?
  2. How much money do we each make now and what is a the realistic potential growth?
  3. What spending lifestyle do we want to have and is it realistic?
  4. How do you feel about debt?
  5. What debt do you have now?
  6. What’s your credit score?
  7. Do you know how to keep a budget?
  8. What are your views on saving money?
  9. What would we do if we lost either of our jobs?
  10. Would we ever move in with either of our parents? For how long?
  11. When do you think it is important to start saving for retirement?
  12. Will we invest our money?
  13. How will we determine what to invest it and how much?
  14. Would you feel comfortable lending money to a family member or friend?
    • Is there a max amount?
    • Anyone that would be an exception?
  15. Who will be in charge of managing our money? For example, ensuring bills are pain on time?

Ask About Family and In-Law Relationships

  1. What is the role of a wife?
  2. What is the role of a husband?
  3. Do you get along with and like my family?
  4. How often do we expect to see our extended families?
  5. How often will we go to them?
  6. How often will they come to us?
  7. What role will our parents play in our children’s lives?
  8. How much about our daily lives will they know?
  9. Do you feel comfortable discussing the intimacies (money, sex, fights) of our relationship with anyone in your family?
  10. Would you feel comfortable if I discusses the intimacies of our relationships with someone in my family?
  11. Does anyone in your family have a history of mental illness? violent or addictive behaviors?
  12. Do you have a family history of diseases?
  13. Would we ever let any of our parents live with us?
  14. Would we ever let any of our siblings live with us?
  15. How would you handle a member of your family telling you they don’t like me?

Health

  1. Have you ever suffered from depression or any issues involving mental health?
  2. Would you be willing to seek treatment if you ever became depressed?
  3. Would you be willing to attend therapy with me if I asked you to?
  4. If I needed to change my diet for health reasons, would you change yours with me?
  5. How do you feel about weight gain?
  6. How important is it for you that I am physically fit? That you are physically fit?
  7. If one of us gets out of shape, can the other ask us to refocus on our physical health?
  8. Do you live an active or sedentary lifestyle?
  9. How important is having good health insurance?
  10. Do you currently have any medical conditions or take any medication?

Entertainment

  1. What kind of music and movies do you like?
  2. Would you rather stay home and watch movies together or go out dancing?
  3. How do you picture our daily life to go?
  4. How do you feel about me going out with friends without you?
  5. Do you need to go out with friends without me?
  6. How would you feel about me going on a trip with friends without you?
  7. How do you feel about having close friends of the opposite sex?
  8. How important is spending time alone to you?
  9. Will we share access to all of our social accounts?
  10. Do you enjoy traveling?
  11. What do you picture the perfect vacation being?
  12. How much money do we want to dedicate to travel?
  13. How much work are you able to take off for travel and family vacations?
  14. How often will we go out on dates as a couple?
  15. If we have different interests, will we just enjoy them separately or take turns dedicating time and trips to what the other likes?