Who your maid of honor is, is a pretty important decision because the maid of honor can end up playing a big role in how smoothly your wedding goes. Most women simply look at who their BFF is at the time of the wedding, but you might want to be a little more particular when choosing who will play that role.
First stop: How involved do you need the maid of honor to be?
This is the first stop because it is probably the most important factor to consider. If your maid of honor will need to take on responsibilities like planning a shower, bachelorette party, attending any and all dress fittings for yourself and your bridesmaids, coordinating the flowers, picking up GiGi from the airport (we could go on and on), then it is really going to narrow down who you should choose as your maid of honor. Once you have determined what you need, consider the following:
- It may not be a good fit if who you want is not yet an adult. One bride said she regretted asking her 16 year old sister to serve as maid of honor. They were close and she didn’t think she needed too much help with the wedding, but she ended up needing more than the sister could handle. Turned out that even the smallest tasks were too much for her. The bride either had to do it completely by herself or be dissapointed.
- This one can be hard because the person that you want to be your maid of honor may just live too far away to help. If you choose to have a maid of honor that lives more than 30 minutes away, just be sure that your expectations are consistent with how hard it will be for her to step up. Some brides will even choose to have co-maids of honor to balance it out.
Second Stop: What emotions are going to be involved?
What we mean by this is that choosing a maid of honor may involve a bit of drama. For example, we had a bride tell us that she really wanted her best friend to be her maid of honor. However she had a childhood friend who wanted to be it too. So when it came to decide, she chose her current best friend and her other friend refused to attend the wedding. This doesn’t mean that you should make your decision around other people’s feelings. It is your wedding. However, it may be a good idea to make sure your aware of any complicated reactions to your choice.
If you are particularly nervous about this possibility, try reading our blog “How to Tell Someone They Won’t be a Bridesmaid” to get some guidance.