Kim Kardashian has filed for divorce. It doesn’t matter if you care about celebrity gossip, it’s always sad to see a young couple giving up only a few months in to wedded bliss. Kim and Kris seemed so happy on the cover of “OK” magazine – what went wrong?
Kim cited “irreconcilable differences” when she filed for divorce on Halloween, but there are some basic tips for measuring the health of a relationship before getting married. So, today we look at a few tips for maintaining the bubbly bliss that you felt when you first said “Yes!” to your husband:
It isn’t just for couples with big problems. Bringing in a counselor in to observe your behavior as a couple can be enlightening and helpful, even for a healthy relationship. The best marriages start when you are both on the same page. One of Kim’s problems was that she and Kris had never reconciled their living situation. She wanted to stay in LA, he wanted to move to Minnesota. At the time, they thought they would figure it out after the wedding, but it ended up forming a rift in their marriage. Relationship counseling can help you spot these potential problems, and you and your husband can figure it out BEFORE getting married.
Wait Until Your Husband Isn’t Perfect:
Most couples know about the “Honeymoon” period in a relationship: the first few months where every fart and burp are cute events that add character and charm to your beloved. The honeymoon isn’t just something that happens when you’re dating; it also comes out after you move in together. The second round of honeymooning is often times more shocking then the first, because couples who go home to separate apartments can still hide things from one another. Before you get married, it’s good to know who you’re moving in with. No, finding out that your new husband uses too much toilet paper isn’t going to end in divorce, but his binge drinking might. Waiting won’t hurt anyone (and it will give you time to save for the big day!)
Getting married isn’t a race, it’s a journey. All of the decisions you make about your relationship should be between you and your husband. Don’t let your family, your friends, or anyone else influence your marital decisions. This also means that getting married is a huge leap of faith and commitment, not “the next logical step” in every relationship. Marriage doesn’t fix problems, it just makes them harder, because you can’t just leave. Give yourself time to put marriage into perspective before rushing into it.
Don’t Give Up!:
Marriage is hard, and for all of the reasons you would expect. Bad days will be mixed in with the nights dancing and doing dishes, and there will be times when there are more tears than smiles, but that is exactly what makes marriage so great. You signed on to tough out the good times and the bad, and your life has become two lives working together. The more you can lay aside blame and realize that you are two legs working to support one body (instead of two people pulling a wagon), the easier it will be to lean on your partner and allow them to lean on you back.
Unfortunately for Kim and Kris, they will never know how wonderful married life can be after pushing through disagreement and strife. They don’t have the opportunity to re-evaluate their union before diving into marriage, nor do they have the perspective they needed to make it work.
Take these tips with you through your wedding planning, and walk down the aisle with the faith and love you need to begin your marriage healthily and happily.