How to Get What You Want for Your Wedding
Saying “no” while planning your wedding may seem like a natural reflex to some brides, but may actually prove difficult to others who cannot seem to be comfortable with asserting what they want when it comes in conflict with someone else’s wants. Which is really a more complicated way of saying they are people pleasers and can’t give up on their people pleasing way. Really, it can be a good thing to be so aware of other people, but sometimes that awareness can turn into substituting anything you need and want to providing the needs and wants to other people. One of the biggest times in a people pleaser’s life where they are going to not want to compromise what they want for other people is their wedding day.
Your wedding day is suppose to be all about you and to help you celebrate your love. So when it comes to planning this special day, you need to go with the mindset that yes, there is an “I” in “Team”.
How to Assert What You Want – No Matter What
- Privately (or with your fiancé) make a list of things that you really want for your wedding. If you need to, force yourself to “play pretend” a perfect scenario where there are not going to be any conflicts or compromises to be made. What do you want in its most raw version.
- Pick a supportive right hand man to help you plan. When it comes to family, moms, and in-laws, you are going to want someone in your corner that is not going to let you compromise your wants to please someone else. This can be a best friend, a sister, cousin, your mom, and even a wedding planner. You just need to figure out who is going to be your best advocate and who you will listen to when they tell you “no, you don’t need to move your wedding venue to make it easier on such-n-such”.
- Say “No” early. The first time someone suggests or even pushes for something that you don’t want for your wedding, put your foot down. Don’t say maybe or that you will think about it. Just say no. This could be something as simple as the flavor of wedding cake or as big as having a friend be your wedding photographer. Once you start saying no, it will be easier for you in the future because you will get use to saying and the people around you will be used to hearing it.